​How to Handle Difficult People Effectively

In this article we will learn

• -18 categories of difficult people
• -Understand - who will act difficult - two categories
• -12 popular masks put on by Difficult people
• -10 reasons Why you must deal with difficult people
• -Who are Passive-aggressive people
• -40 Tip for handling difficult people - also read blogs in both my websites and listen to my YouTube videos on how to handle Toxic, Manipulative, Depressed and people with psychological issues

How to handle difficult people effectively.

Before we go to this Topic - Please list as many as you can - Benefits - If you learn to handle difficult, dominating, aggressive & overpowering people effectively?

Who are the difficult people? – they would be - normally - anyone whom you struggle and find it tough to handle comfortably, with confidence, calm and in composed state – these feelings could be visible to others or only you go through internally.

18 categories of difficult people

• 1.Who scares you
• 2.Who terrifies and terrorizes you - even when you think of them
• 3.Are illogical, irrational and totally unpredictable
• 4.Are unreasonable
• 5.Neither listens nor understand – what you are saying
• 6.Only talks about self – without giving a chance to others
• 7.Most conversations are filled with - boasts about self – all the time
• 8.Wants you to acknowledge that they are great - without really have much claim to fame
• 9.Abuses you – both physically as well as verbally
• 10.Dominates you, controls you and suppresses you
• 11.Humiliates and insults you openly and in person
• 12.Bullies you
• 13.Makes you do things against your wishes
• 14.You are not able to say no this person
• 15.Behaves aggressively with you
• 16.Is most of the time angry with you
• 17.Takes everything personally – including jokes, innocent remarks and actions which are positive
• 18.Can never accept that they are wrong

Now lets us understand - who will act difficult - Two categories

Category one

• 1.Truly knowledgeable
• 2.Talented, Skilled and Expert
• 3.Have real powerful - positional, physical, with lots of followers
• 4.A true leader
• 5.Takes Risks
• 6.Helps Others become the best they can
• 7.Is Courageous and Brave

Category two

• 1.Emotionally insecure
• 2.Scared within
• 3.Fearful of exposing their weaknesses
• 4.Lacks confidence
• 5.Afraid of people finding about their lacunas
• 6.Appearing weak in front of others
• 7.Constantly worries about losing control - on people
• 8.Egoist
• 9.Gets angry fast - without reasons
• 10.Does not understand logic, reason and rationality

The difficult people always will fall in the second category. Because of deep insecurity within.

12 popular masks put on by Difficult people

• 1.Being superior
• 2.To show power they behave with aggression
• 3.Dominates so that others can't see their true self
• 4.Shows - a don't give a damn attitude
• 5.Great show-off of courage and confidence
• 6.Attacks others for small reasons or no reasons
• 7.Finds Faults in others
• 8.Blames others - when thing go wrong
• 9.Takes credit for other's efforts
• 10.Put down-others and Criticizes others openly
• 11.Goes on offensive when challenged
• 12.Behaves in know it all - does not learn

The metaphor would be to consider the elephant walking on the road & dogs barking. Who is powerful – undoubtedly the elephant – but does he runs after the dogs – never.

Powerful, knowledgeable, secure and confident people do not have any need to get recognized by others - those who behave and act difficult.

Because they are aware about their power, knowledge, strengths and qualities –they do not feel the need to prove themselves.

10 reasons Why you must deal with difficult people - if you do not deal with difficult people effectively – your will have

• 1.Increase in numbers of difficult people in your life
• 2.Your self-confidence will take massive beatings
• 3.You will operate out of fear and scarcity
• 4.The existing difficult people will become - even more bolder, more demanding and eventually more uncomfortable for you
• 5.You will feel miserable
• 6.You will turn into a passive-aggressive person
• 7.You will sulk
• 8.You will have rage - which will just burst-out - on slightest triggers
• 9.You will whine and complain behind these people's back - as you can't deal with them face to face
• 10.Many times your pent-up anger will erupt at the most inappropriate time & will cause you and you most loved ones too much loss or pain

Who are Passive-aggressive people - One of the most difficult category to recognize & handle are passively aggressive people.

• 1.Because they will always behave, talk, and show in front of others as if they are your most supportive person, your best friend & most caring.
• 2.But they may act totally different – having fragile ego – you may not know when & why they turned against you.
• 3.You can recognize passively aggressive people by their following talks, behavior etc.
• 4.They will never say no to any of your request – but somehow things never get done - they will always find a convincing reason for not having done the work - either assigned to them or what they themselves promised
• 5.Their response to your questions most of the time - when you ask them how are thing and how they - fine, no problem, no worries, whatever you say etc. etc.
• 6.You may hear from the grapevine – what type of rumors they spread about you although - for the same thing they make you the greatest person - in front of you
• 7.They will plan revenge - for all the wrongs that you have - most these would be perceived and manufactured by them - without any truth

Because of these reasons - in comparison - openly hostile people can be handled more easily - because you know their ways of behaviors.

40 Tip for handling difficult people - also read blogs in both my websites and listen to my YouTube videos on how to handle Toxic, Manipulative, Depressed and people with psychological issues

• 1.Some of these tips are general - suggesting a mindset to cultivate - Others are more specific in advising you what to do in the moment or in a specific situation or with a type of person.
• 2.Choose your battles wisely - first of all avoid picking fight with them - unless the stakes are very high and you must create the impression that you can handle them assertively
• 3.Learn to not get sucked into - meaningless arguments
• 4.Don't let your EGO makes you fall into their trap - when they challenge you by ridiculing you
• 5.Shift your listening from being reactive to proactive
• 6.Learn to ask questions - tough questions calmly
• 7.Start practicing the technique by believing that this person must have had a lousy day - to remain stay calm and objective
• 8.Do not judge and form opinion – before you understand the situation, the person fully and much better
• 9.Always treat other person with respect
• 10.Even if they are acting totally dis-respectfully - ensure that you operate out of your values and not succumb to other's force and bullying
• 11.Be curious and try to understand this person's motives and game-plan – what they are trying to avoid OR what they are planning gain - by baiting you

• 12.If possible - seek an ally – sometimes there are people around who may support you if you are logical, respectful & reasonable
• 13.Never use the word "calm-down" – instead ask - what is making you so upset - let me understand PLUS you can say "can you please explain little more so that I can understand better."
• 14.Even if they become - more aggressive - maintain your this stance
• 15.If in serious conflict [where you may find it laughable BUT they are getting mad] never smile, keep your expressions as if you are concerned
• 16.Learn not to take anything personally
• 17.Never try to prove they are wrong
• 18.And similarly - it is worthless - to prove that you are right
• 19.Never defend or justify yourself - this is what  these people are looking for to up their ante
• 20.Never try to convince them by arguing – it is a total waste - as this will only add fuel to their fire
• 21.Many times simple apology – instead of reacting angrily can do the trick to getting snowballed into serious dispute
• 22.You need to learn to be assertive– and have to tell them with respect and internal-calm - what is not acceptable – you can do it by stuck-record technique - of repeating the same statement again and again
• 23.In most instances - walking away – is ideal – especially where it may escalate into violence
• 24.But if walking-away makes them more aggressive and pushes them towards violence - then have to face by being assertive and seeking all types of help
• 25.Empathizing in a manner that soothes – if you sense that their anger is not due to you - you can say – it is a difficult I understand - if I was in your situation I would feel the same
• 26.Focus on the behavior – do not link their behavior with them - AND while you do this - at a time talk about only one specific behavior
• 27.You must always confront a bully – but you need to prepare yourself mentally, physically, emotionally and maybe legally PLUS you need to create a support group - before you confront them
• 28.Respond do not react - pause for a moment - take a deep breath before responding - to collect your thoughts, think through and calm your emotions
• 29.State your rights and needs clearly and assertively
• 30.Entire communication from your end has to be in a polite, respectful and calm voice and language
• 31.Do not bother about the opinion of others
• 32.Stick to the facts - only - be specific
• 33.Develop a thick skin – learn to ignore whom and what - people and to ignore
• 34.Learn to channelize your frustration and irritations into constructive activities
• 35.Understand yourself – understand - if you are not overreacting
• 36.Overcome your fear of confrontation & conflicts – as facing them help you evolve into a stronger person
• 37.Don't get stoop-down to their level because of their behavior, words and actions – maintain your own responsible behavior & emotional state
• 38.You don't have to agree with them neither either remain silent - if it is creating emotional turmoil within you
• 39.Expressing how you feel - using I sentences is a great way not to accumulate stress and grudges
• 40.Slow down – there is no hurry to settle right now - many disputes can't be solved - many can get resolved when you acquire newer more effective skills