How to learn practice master habit of self control

In this article we will learn the following

-When we lack self-control in our life - there will be these 3 major negative-and life-altering impacts in our life

-9 reasons why will-power cannot be a substitute for self-control and disciplined life

-46 tips and steps on how to practice self-control by focusing on what is important and delaying or avoiding temptations

- Identify your values [for discovering your powerful WHYs] - by asking yourself these 11 questions - please add your own to the following list

Mastering self-control through art of delayed gratifications, temptations and impulses.

If you have better self-control and can create a disciplined-regimen for your big-picture and in your life - would you be able to accomplish much greater things in life?

Self-control is all about - doing what you don't like or want to do - but it is essential for that success, that growth and that quality of life - which probably you always want and desire.

Highly successful people build- enviable success-stories - because of their ability to consciously hold off on immediate pleasure and by conscious and determined follow-through on their most powerful passions and dreams.

Many of us give-in to temptations, instant-gratifications and short-term-pleasures - which leads to our ignoring - the mandatory basics of life.

When we lack self-control in our life - there will be these 3 major negative-and life-altering impacts in our life

• 1.Inability to control your anger [can for few people lead to violence and imprisonment etc.]
• 2.Plus inability to control your need for luxuries without working for it - that is not putting efforts but wanting to have all [which in many cases lead to people using scams, theft, impulsive-buying and debts and financial ruin]
• 3.And thirds inability to handle peer pressure [which at times leads to drug abuse, alcoholism, crime, unwanted-pregnancies other criminal acts]

Why it is so hard to delay gratifications and controlling harmful strong impulsive-urges?

For one reason- delaying gratification in the hope that - by doing this you will be able to achieve success in whatever you are looking-for - does not offer any guarantee of realizing your big goals.

Like - even if you force yourself to avoid high-calorie-foods - you still might not be able to lose weight or that you all social-functions and study - you still don't do as well in your examinations.

Whereas by indulging - you get immediate rewards - pleasure-fun-excitement-sensation.

Whether you happily delay gratifications and pursue your powerful goals or can't control your urges and impulses - depends on your internal-wiring.

Only when you feel that losing that fun-time - is no big-deal and you are more attuned to your growth - you will be able to beat the fear of missing out and thereby exercise wonderful self-control to accomplish what you feel are your life-dreams.

In both personal and professional life - ability to delay your gratification is a smart and most powerful strategy.

Because when we resist going for quick-fixes and we don't go for instant-pleasures through unhealthy means, habits and methods - and instead focus on meaningful goals and pursuits - we create and live powerful life.

For have self-control - you need to have a very strong faith in your abilities to take actions persistently.

Delaying gratification is difficult for most of us and almost impossible for some - because it may fill you with the feelings of being a loser [especially if you have the fear of missing out].

Self-control is also difficult to have - because it is very-very illogical and uncomfortable to engage in self-denial of pleasure - when all our instincts are to seize the current opportunity for pleasure.

And unless you can paint a very powerful, vivid, very-very-attractive and inspiring picture - while visualizing your future - having the required motivation to delay-avoid-suppress your instant gratifications and pleasures is almost impossible.

When we lose a battle intentionally [by focusing on long-term sustainable growth] we do win the war - it is just like many coaches resting their top-players in an unimportant game and keep them for the most important ones or brings them in that moment when the team needs maximum push

If you can create the mental-emotional-physical habit of delaying gratification-impulses-urges and work on your life-goals - you will realize that you have transformed from being a mediocre one to become a top-notch performer.

Chasing big goals are never easy. It requires motivation, self-discipline, skill, knowledge, resources, inspiration, resilience, persistence, bouncing back from failures to restart and a great deal of efforts.

Task and action-driven discipline is about getting your to-do list and overall job done.

Emotional discipline is less obvious and can be more complicated, but is equally important - this is where we have to push ourselves out of our comfort zone to grow.

If you have agitation-irritability-lack of patience-difficulty concentrating-thoughts which make you emotionally unstable ON REGULAR BASIS - then you need to start working on managing your emotions better immediately.

9 reasons why will-power cannot be a substitute for self-control and disciplined life

• 1.When we rely only on our will-power - certainly there will be progress but it will be only sporadic - because the will-power can be used only as an additional boost as its overuse has limitations and leads to inconsistent results.
• 2.Then our will-power also gets weakened - if the benefits of your long-term goals - are very far off into the future - this creates demotivation which is a will-power buster.
• 3.Examples could be our everyday activities like - playing video games, socializing with your friends in fast-food joints and malls - will bring you instant pleasure and gratification.
• 4.If your goals don't have powerful WHYs for you - putting efforts for your goals will feel like slogging and hence the will-power will get beaten.
• 5.Using willpower never deals with and solves - the underlying cause of why you are giving-in - in most cases this is because of a strong conflict between your feelings of sensory-pleasure (which is very-strong) and your long-term goals and values.
• 6.Willpower is that inner-resource which gets fatigued and exhausted - with indiscriminate use.
• 7.Without adequate reserves of willpower - the probability of falling victim to impulsive and irrational behavior - becomes very-very high.
• 8.Self-control is built upon the foundations of intrinsic motivation which in turn gets reinforced and driven by internal and subconscious core needs.
• 9.To practice self-control - we need to create, accept and understand the consequences of our behavior - long-term, short-term and overall - and then consciously choose to go along with what has the greatest benefits and rewards.

46 tips and steps on how to practice self-control by focusing on what is important and delaying or avoiding temptations

• 1.Identify what all you want to have-be-do - in your personal, financial, professional, social, relationships, emotional and physical as well as in your spiritual arenas
• 2.Identify what all desires you have - then highlight - which are the most positive-powerful-meaningful-important ones for you - with crystal clear whys
• 3.Ask yourself the following questions
• I.Why is this goal important and why does it matter
• II.How is this goal adds value to you
• III.What are the immediate benefits
• IV.What are the long-term rewards
• V.How does this goal helps you connect with your big picture - how does it connect with your larger purpose
• VI.How will this goal add value to others
• 4.List all the bad habits-beliefs that are playing havoc in your life and creating a less-than-desirable life for you
• 5.Identify what substitutions you can use to replace each of your bad-negative-harmful-limiting habit - set specific goals for every situation and interaction
• 6.Now identify and list all those strengths you want to strengthen - create action plans to use them in you day to day activities - discover newer ways to boost these strengths even stronger
• 7.Cut-off regularly from social-media - till you don't miss being on social-media and being disconnected does not bother you
• 8.Don't keep tempting foods etc. - if you succumb to your urges - ensure that you buy only a very small quantity for one helping
• 9.Work with your emotions and feelings - without fighting-resisting-suppressing them - feel all the pains-hurts-fears-joys-triumph - learn to become aware initially - later create and learn ways to deal with these upsetting emotions more effectively
• 10. Create your own ways to avoid and delay - your feelings for instant temptations and impulsive indulgences
• 11. Identify all your negative and harmful choices and habits of giving-in
• 12. Then create - what tools-aids-strategies you can use - to best master these temptations - without getting the withdrawal shocks and after-effects
• 13. Create - rewards and treats - which are non-financial - but actually make you feel great
• 14. Planning for future-adverse-scenario -if this happens [identify what all can go wrong based on your earlier track record] - and then create effective strategies to deal with them
• 15. Then create a simple one glance - tracking-monitoring-becoming aware - method
• 16. List and create categories of different temptations that you give-in to time to time - put them into these categories
• I.Most harmful and must stop immediately
• II.Harmful and should be controlled
• III.Can be managed
• IV.The last indulging in these is alright as long as it does not reach harmful-level.
• V.For the first two categories are the candidate for immediate action - seek help if you are unable to deal with yourself
• VI.For last two categories - create a range and frequency of when you would indulge yourself
• 17. Create a future-paced - methods - to deal with various worst-case scenarios - If that happens… then I will do this or if others do this - I will respond in this way or if this does not happen as per my expectations - I will do this etc.
• 18. Develop a standard process for automating the decisions you take on every day basis - if it is possible do that -
• 19. Follow - doing most important first and delegating the rest
• 20. Practice self-control in small ways - by starting with easily controllable - then raise your bar for delaying bigger and more difficult temptations.
• 21. Ensure to practice healthy - eating, sleeping, relaxing, fun-inducing, stress-mitigating and life-style filled with daily exercises to keep your self-control rejuvenated
• 22. Make self-care your most important priority
• 23. Give definitive time-frames by using realistic deadlines
• 24. Create positive and purposeful distraction - say by going for a quick game of Sudoku
• 25. Expose yourself to a series of unreliable experiences - where nothing is certain - to train yourself not expect anything but only focusing on action-steps
• 26. Improve one thing at a time
• 27. Identify your values [for discovering your powerful WHYs] - by asking yourself these 11 questions - please add your own to the following list
• I.Spend now or save now - have lavish-life with no thought for future or live a comfortable life with a nest of savings
• II.Should you purchase this item only to show-off - or forget your EGO and live without non-essentials
• III.Invest in self-development to secure future or flow with the crowd
• IV.Pay attention to health or depend on medications
• V.Learn soft-life-skills to make life grand or sit on whatever you have accomplished so far
• VI.Walk the beaten track or take the risky path- as entrepreneurs do
• VII.Work for others or launch your own
• VIII.Smoke or give-up
• IX.Suffer pain, challenges and struggle to make future promising or go the easy way
• X.Mend that relationship or live with conflicts and misunderstand - by initiating and apologizing
• XI.Go for physical pleasures or go for meaningful intimate relationships
• 28. Distract yourself with other things which you like
• 29. Create healthy habits by making this habit so simple needing the smallest effort - so that this change will not alter your life in big way at least in the beginning - then improve your habit by 1% every day
• 30. Keep track of what you have accomplished by delaying your gratifications
• 31. Instant gratification creates addictive tendencies - slowly built success is trusted and sustainable
• 32. Meditate - find the best meditation that works for you - and then force yourself until it becomes a habit
• 33. Get others involved in whatever changes you are trying to overcome and also for changing your dominant self-harming habits
• 34. Surround yourself with highly self-controlled people
• 35. Develop new pursuits
• 36. Experiment and try out new things to create excellence
• 37. Raise the bar yourself - for benchmarking yourself
• 38. Draw on support system - understand when to find help and when to seek professional help:
• 39. Learn to calm your nerves
• 40. Practice situations that exercise self-control
• 41. Distract yourself from the tempting situation change your environment to decrease temptations
• 42. Put yourself first to be energized
• 43. Manage your time and energy with equal importance
• 44. Break the vicious cycle by changing one thing at a time
• 45. Be willing to feel uncomfortable
• 46. Set intentions and follow through

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