How to love yourself first


How To Love Yourself Unconditionally To Create Wonderful Relationship with Others

If You Are Interested In Having A Wonderful Intimate Relationship With People You Love, Admire Or Those Who Are Very Important To You => This Cannot Happen Unless You Love Yourself Intimately.

But I Am Not Talking About Narcisstic Way of Love – Which Is Totally Self-Absorbed, Totally Self-Focused & Totally Self-Centered.

The Love I am Talking About is Complete Acceptance Of Self As You Are With Your Own Qualities Both Positives & Negatives. This Is About Being Comfortable With Yourself Naturally.

People Who Are At Peace With Themselves Are The People Who Are Admired, Loved, Respected, Followed, And Envied By Others.

These Are Also The People Who Have Unshakable Self-Confidence, Self-Worth & Self-Esteem.

The Peril Of Lack Of Self Love & Vulnerability We Create By Not Loving Ourselves

  1. Those Who Lack Self-Love - Get Into Drug/Alcoholism & Are Often Abused Physically, Financially, Emotionally By Others. They Make Self-Sabotaging Choices & Are Often Manipulated By People With Stronger Personalities With Ulterior Motives.
  2. Lack Of Self-Worth Prevents Individuals From Standing up & Asking For Their Own Basic Needs.
  3. People Who Do Not Love Themselves – Needs Constant Approval From Others As Well They Have A Great Need Of Inclusion & Acceptance By Others.
  1. Lack Of Self-Love Can Also Prevent Emotional Healing And Progress. Individuals Who Engage In Self-Blame And Ignoring Themselves Had Poorer Outcomes In Psychotherapy.
  2. Not Loving Yourself Would Definitely Prevent You In Advancing Your Career & Stunt Your Growth In Every Area Of Life
  3. Lack Of Self-Love Also Stop You From Seeking Help/Favors From Others In Time Of Your Need & May Create Bigger Issues For You

What is self love

It is About Your Understanding, Knowing & Beliefs About Yourself

1.Do You Believe That You Are An Important Person Who Deserves To Be Loved And Respected?

2.Do You Know, Embrace And Acknowledge Your Dark Side When It Surfaces? Do You Know The Part Of You That Is Pessimistic, Lazy, Depressed, Violent, Crude And Offensive? Or Do You Pretend That Everything Is Rainbows, Gumdrops, And Unicorn Shits. Do You Pretend That Every Day Is A Good Day?

3. The Real Understanding Of Self – It Is Paradox -Have You Truly Realize That Your Imperfections Are What Make You Perfect & Unique?

4.Do You Know Your Positive Qualities – Your Unique Gifts From Nature? These Gifts Can Be Anything From Having A Strong Love For Nature To Building Business Empire

In My Counseling Sessions I Have Come Across Following Few Queries – From People Who Lack Self-Love

a)Sometimes I Feel Bad Because I've Hurt Others By Mistake. How Do I Get Past These Feelings?

b)What If Other People Think I Am Weird?

c)I Hate How I Look And Everything About Me.

d)How Can I Feel Better?

e)I Keep Thinking Badly About Myself And Putting Myself Down. How Do I Stop?

f)How Can I Be More Comfortable Around People? Sometimes I Don't Feel Comfortable With My Own Parents And Family.

g)How Do I Love Myself Despite Not Being Loved By Anyone Around Me, Having No Friends Or Loving Family?

h)What Do I Do If Everything Is Going Great, But I Suddenly Start To Feel Very Worthless Again?

It's Never Too Late to Become the Man or Woman You Truly Are.

You Can Begin Healing, Growing, And Flourishing Now. Doing So Requires the Courage and Clarity to See Yourself, So That You May Begin the Process of Tearing down the Walls that is Preventing The Flow Of Love And Life Around You.

Follow The Steps To Discover Your Worth And Enfold Yourself In Affection And Appreciation

Step 1: Connect With Your Inner Self – Identify, Explore & Introspect To Find What Gives You Happiness, What You Would Love To Do If There Were No Constraints

Step 2: Honestly Identifying & Accepting Your Inner Undesirable Qualities & Your Resistance To Them- Most People Avoid Facing Their Weaknesses And Negativities Because They Want To Escape Feeling Bad. Your Sense Of Insecurity And Anxiety Represents Feelings Only From Your Past That Can Be Healed.

Healing Can Happen Through Many Avenues, From Therapy And Support Groups To Energy Work, Massage, Mind-Body Programs And Various Eastern Medical Approaches.

Step 3: Dealing With Old Wounds - When You Are Stuck With Resentments, Hurts And Scars & When You Look Deeper Beneath The Scar - You Feel Find Fresh Wounds.

No One Can Do This Work Alone – You Need Help From Someone Else Who Understands The Situation To Go Into These Dark Places — It Could Be A Close Friend, Mentor, Confidant, Priest Or Therapist.

Once You Start, There's A Tremendous Sense Of Exhilaration, Even Triumph In The Process.

Step 4: Forgiving Your Past - You Shouldn't Jump Too Quickly Into Forgiveness. It's All Too Easy to Pretend to Yourself That You Forgive Old Hurts and Abusive Treatment.

When, In Fact, What You Are Simply Suppressing These in Your Eagerness to Escape the Pain.

The Absence Of Pain, Achieved Through Healing, Gives You The Right Foundation For Deep, Lasting Forgiveness.

Self-Acceptance Is Required First, And The Realization That You — And Everyone Around You — Have Been Doing The Best You Can From Your Own Level Of Awareness.

Step 5: Accepting Where You Are Right Now - A Good Way Is To Tell Yourself When You Have A Bad Memory And Say, "I Am Not That Person Anymore." For The Truth Is That You Aren't.

Step 6: Forming Relationships Where You Feel Loved And Appreciated - The Path To Unconditional Love Isn't Meant To Be Lonely. You Should Walk It With People Who Reflect The Love You See In Yourself.

Step 7: Practicing The Kind Of Love You Aspire To Receive - Like Attracts Like, And The More You Live Your Own Ideal Of Love, The More Your Light Will Draw Another Light To You.

Step 8: Do What Honors And Respects You - Don't Participate In Activities That Bring You Down. Don't Allow Toxic People In Your Life. Love Everyone, But Be Discerning On Who You Allow Into Your Life.

Step 9: Discover The Power Of Fun - Self-Love Requires Time To Relax, Play, And Create Face-To-Face Interaction With Others. Our Fast-Paced World Creates A Goal Setting, Competitive Craziness That Doesn't Leave Room For Play.

Step 10: Become Aware Of Self Neglect And Rejection - Become Conscious Of Your Choices. Ask Yourself Several Times Throughout The Day, "Does This Choice Honor Me?" + Imagine What Your Life Would Look Like If You Believed In Your Worth - Dedicate Your Life To Loving You. Make It Your Main Event.

Step 11 : Seek Professional Help - Self-Rejection And Neglect Is Painful. You Deserve To Be Happy. You Have A Right To Be Accepted And Loved. If Necessary, Seek Help From A Support Group, Counselor, Or Coach. It's The Best Investment You Can Make.

Step 12 : Look After Yourself - There Is No Set Of Behaviors That May Work For Everyone. Try One Or Two. Take The Risk Of Treating Yourself Well And See What Happens.

§Prioritize Sleep


§Meditation Or Silent Reflection

§Express Gratitude

§Eat A Healthy, Nutrient-Dense Diet

§Set Boundaries -Are You Allowing Toxic People, Activities, Or Habits Into Your Life? If So, Slowly Start Removing Them.


§Give Yourself Small Treats Throughout The Day

Step 13 : Learn From Nature - Look To Nature. Even The Most Beautiful, Ancient Forests Are Sometimes Struck By Lightning And Burnt To The Ground.

At First Glance, This Seems Like Tragic, Wasteful Destruction. But It's Not. It's All a Part of the Natural Cycle of Life. The Fire Destroys the Forest; The Ashes Feed The Soil; The Soil Provides A Stronger, More Nurturing Environment; The Forest Grows Back More Radiant Than Before.

Step 14 : Learn From Your Own Past - Beneath The Pain, Darkness And Destruction Rests A Quiet Core Of Growth, Love, And Beauty.

To Understand The Human Experience You Must Embrace The Darkness. This Means Internalizing That You Will Die One Day (As Will Everyone You've Ever Loved And Everyone Who Ever Loved You).

At A More Mundane Level, It Means Realizing That Suffering Is Part Of The Human Experience. To Deny Your Suffering Is To Deny Your Humanity.

Step 14 : Accepting The Facts - To Pretend That You Are Ok When You're Broken, That You Are Unafraid When You're Terrified, Or That You're Calm When You Are Rageful Is To Deny Your True Nature.

Throw Away The Bookish Bullshit Of Trying To Be Happy And Content Every Second Of Your Life And Step Into The Greater Reality Of Being Honest About Who You Are And How You Experience Life. By Doing So, You Will Create Space To Give And Receive Love.

Realize That It's Human To Be Disgusting, Lazy, Jealous, And Aggressive From Time To Time.It's Normal To Have Dark Thoughts And Feelings.

Step 15 : Write Your Autobiography -Create A Space Where You Can Express Yourself Freely – You Can Choose To Write A Journal Or Engaging In A Verbal Monologue, Out Loud, To Yourself. Your Task Is To Tell Your Life Story From Start To Finish.

As You Express Yourself, Go Out Of Your Way To Be Honest, Vulnerable, And Forthright. Lean Into Your Rough Edges, Your Humanity, And Your Rawness.

Step 16 : Share Your Story & Your Weaknesses 7 How You Overcame Them

Step 17 : Making A Gratitude Diary – Note Down All Things That You Have & Many In The World Do Not Have

Step 18: Nurture Your Dreams - When You Nurture Your Dreams, You Would Love The Life That You Are Leading. Every Moment That You Live Is A Joy Because You Are Expressing Yourself Fully.

Step 19: Start Telling Yourself What You Love About Yourself - In Your Own Life It's Important To Know How Spectacular You Are. Step 20 : Learn New Things + Expand Your Knowledge + Develop New Hobbies - Give Yourself A Fair Chance To Explore New Ideas And Opportunities.

Step 21 : Unconditional Love- Practice Unconditional Kindness & Unconditional Giving

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