In this article - we will learn about
-19 Qualities of the real-brave and courageous people
-24 Reasons why we need to reach-out to others
-40 tips on HOW TO REACH OUT - when you need help yourself
-When try to reach out to others and don't know what to say - try using these 7 sentences
-36 ways you can reach out to others - When Others need your support
- Try using these 9 sentences - when reaching out to others to support-help-cope in their crisis-time
-18 ways to reach out to people you admire
All of us need to reach out to others for various compelling reasons - when we are suffering and struggling and need support and help for ourselves - and sometimes to help others.
I am sure that you have always been told and conditioned with these sentences - to be strong, to be brave, to be self-reliant and to be independent.
But we have been taught the - biggest lies about - the qualities of brave and have been instilled with the wrong-notions of what actually is independence.
Although most of us have to cope with situations on our own and fight our own battles- still there are numerous situations and times when we are just not able to manage by ourselves and are stuck and struggle.
How many of you went through this inner-turmoil of wanting to share something but you could not summon up enough courage - and kept suffering silently.
There are strong emotional-psychological reasons why all of us should seek and reach out for support in our difficult and challenging times - even if you feel uncomfortable, ashamed, embarrassed or scared.
The most important reason we should reach out -is your personal-wellbeing.
Other reasons are happiness-fulfillment-satisfaction-growth and great relationships.
Many people find it difficult to ask for help - because few of them think that asking for help would burden and unnecessarily trouble others.
Some people don't reach out to others - believing that asking for help will make them look weak - nothing can be farther than truth.
I am giving below the definition of brave as per what works for me AND this I realized after suffering for years [ few of you would find it difficult to accept this definition of being real-brave - but try living and using these AND I can guarantee that you would feel liberated and free].
19 Qualities of the real-brave and courageous people
- 1.Who can cry - when they are in pain or they are hurt
- 2.Who can admit their mistakes
- 3.Who can apologize - when they have made any mistake or done something wrong
- 4.Who can seek help - whenever he or she needs it
- 5.Who can accept their weaknesses and flaws
- 6.Who is not bothered about what others think of them
- 7.Who can accept that they don't have the needed competencies and pro-actively enroll someone who has better expertise
- 8.Who can accept that they have made the wrong choice and decision - then move on
- 9.Who can accept the consequence of all their choices-decisions-actions-consequences
- 10. Who take complete responsibility for their life
- 11. Who is not stuck with the arrogance of covering-up their weaknesses-faults-mistakes-failures
- 12. Who makes-it up on learning that he or she has hurt someone or wronged someone
- 13. Who can show their vulnerabilities
- 14. Who are ready to learn from everyone
- 15. Who anticipate and expect change
- 16. Who are flexible to adopt to the transformations taking place all around and their life
- 17. Who does not have EGO - which makes them suffer silently - without seeking help
- 18. Who feels scared - time to time - but still take actions if it is necessary in the things that makes him or her scared
- 19. Who does not mind accepting that he or she is scared
24 Reasons why we need to reach-out to others
- 1.To apologize and make-up for the wrong and hurt we have caused others
- 2.To take initiative to mend a close relation
- 3.To resolve the conflict and clear misunderstanding - to rebuild the relationship
- 4.To seek help when we are unable to do something on our own or when we have tried and failed
- 5.When we have reached at our hope's end and need help
- 6.To seek help of others in fighting back to create resourceful emotional and mental states
- 7.When your loved ones are suffering and you have to support them
- 8.When someone is struggling or depressed
- 9.When you need to connect with someone with power and influence to get their weight behind your mission and goal
- 10. To enroll someone as mentor
- 11. When you want to reach out to someone who fascinates you and they don't know you
- 12. When your life is falling apart and full of chaos and nothing is working
- 13. To get different perspective and view-point
- 14. For more balanced-candid-objective explanations and effective solutions
- 15. To be able to deal with your feelings and emotions better
- 16. Going from un-resourceful to resourceful emotional-mental state
- 17. Feeling secured - because you find there are people who care for you and are with you in this trying times
- 18. That you are not alone and that there are people who will support you
- 19. Reaching out could be for - finding an empathic-caring person to just listen to you
- 20. To get access to information
- 21. Get third-party view-points
- 22. Get expert advice and guidance
- 23. Physical and moral-support, help and assistance
- 24. Reaching out can not only help you with your decision-making and choosing the better option but also what actions you should take
40 tips on HOW TO REACH OUT - when you need help yourself
- 1.Because nobody can read anyone's mind - by reaching out you are letting them know that you need them for whatever that may help you come out of helplessness to move on towards being hopeful.
- 2.Many times even if you want to seek help and support - you may feel very-very uncomfortable and uncertain
- 3.Make a list of people - who always make you feel good about yourself - just being with them
- 4.Choose one person whom you trust implicitly - go with your gut-feelings on making this choice
- 5.Although many times we do lean on our friends and family for advice - BUT - in few situations they may not be the best people to approach - as they might have biases
- 6.Why Is Reaching Out So Hard - sometimes opening-up with your family and friends can be more dreadful than talking with complete strangers
- 7.Think through your issue and divide them into small-small part
- 8.Verify the person - whom you have chosen to approach - by mentioning a small part - to check if their response fills you with confidence to share more
- 9.Ask yourself - what's stopping you from asking for help
- 10. Choose a good time and place you feel comfortable and preferably distraction-free - to have uninterrupted conversation in a relaxed environment.
- 11. Practice your script - write it down - how will you start and what all you would say at the first go
- 12. Identify why you are seeking help - what exactly you want from talking and sharing with this person - do you simply want someone to listen OR you want something done for you by this person involving their time-efforts-money-connections-whatever
- 13. When talking with this person - express how you feel and what support you would like - be very specific
- 14. If possible - try to share in an unemotional manner - keeping feelings out and only focusing on the facts and needs
- 15. Let other person ask and understand - be very candid
- 16. Understand that no what is your situation - there are Solutions
- 17. Many times - the best person you approach - could be a professional, domain-expert or master of this subject
- 18. When you go for professional-opinion - listen to few - if it is financially or otherwise possible for you - because in every domain the expert-opinions - vary very-very differently
- 19. Type your query in whichever words - on Google - read the response - many times reading the questions and experts and the people on the similar situation - will give you clarity as well as directions
- 20. Off-course - many times it may also do the opposite - by making you confused - especially in health related issues
- 21. Make one thumb rule - never to search or Google - if your issue is medical or psychological
- 22. Try to identify your big-picture
- 23. Try also to identify - whether the problem you are facing - will have long term consequence
- 24. Try to identify - the root-cause of your distress - find out if one single factor hinges the outcomes greatly
- 25. Then seek out alternate explanations - and find ways to mitigate or minimize the probability of its happening
- 26. If it is sure to happen and have disruptive impact - then - seek the best possible remedy - don't try to cut-corners
- 27. Find out - if there exists any support-group for your specific struggles-problems-difficulties-obstacles - join them and become an active participant
- 28. Share your issues - PLUS - try to create solutions - for other's problems
- 29. If this platforms allows you to connect - then connect with few people whose responses resonates with you
- 30. Never try to project your issue only selectively - be downright and bluntly honest about your situation and your role
- 31. Because once you have decided to reach-out - don't hold information - as you are seeking support
- 32. Don't be afraid of being judged or criticized - few people may do that - ignore those
- 33. Learn to be comfortable with the discomfort of being vulnerable - it feel like hell initially - but once you have got it out of your heart - you may not find it that monstrous
- 34. Choose people who are empathic not sympatric - these people have to have the ability to think and view your issue from many different angles and perspective
- 35. They should also be able to calm your nerves - by makingyou focus on action-steps - those which are perfectly within your area of control
- 36. These people should also have the knack of asking questions which makes you think differently and helps you differentiate between your feelings from facts
- 37. It's perfectly fine if you have no idea what you need or want, especially when all you can think about is how much you're hurting.
- 38. Let someone know how you're feeling. You might be surprised by the ways they offer to support you.
- 39. When try to reach out to others and don't know what to say - try using these 7 sentences
- I.I am going through a very tough-phase right-now and I feel you are a person I can count on - when can we talk
- II.I find myself unable to deal with my emotional issues effectively and whatever I tried does not seems to be working - Can we talk or meet
- III.I am in need of some moral-support as I am not co9nfident of handling myself all by myself - can you be with me - on phone or in person
- IV.I am in a very turbulent emotional state and I don't think I can express and talk - can you help me get my mind off by talking about other things
- V.I am unable to cope with the changes right now and am unable to take care of myself - I need support - Can you help me with ….
- VI.I have been feeling emotionally weak and very low - can you just talk with me so that I can come out of it
- VII.I am struggling - can I take the liberty of calling you
- 40. If you feel that you feel like ending your life or have suicidal thoughts - raise the damn alarm - this is more than enough reason to seek help
36 ways you can reach out to others - When Others need your support
- 1.If your learn that your friend or a family member is going through a very tense and very stressful phase or situation - just say that You are there for them and will support them
- 2.Many times for the other person - it can be immensely comforting just to know that you are there for them
- 3.If you can - make them feel relaxed - ask them to share their feelings and issues - by telling them that you will just listen - to help them vent out
- 4.While listening - don't offer any solutions or explanations - not yet anyway - just listen with care
- 5.Yes you can ask questions to clarify for them as well as yourself - to show that you really care and that you are paying attention
- 6.Don't worry about asking the wrong question - if you really care - it would get communicated to them
- 7.But try not give outright solutions - at least not in the beginning
- 8.Don't force them to talk - Be aware that they might not want to talk about it all the time - Ask them what they want to do
- 9.Sometimes someone has something they want to do
- 10. Let them know that they are not alone, and that we all go through tough times and that It's OK to ask for help
- 11. Take their feelings seriously - Don't accuse, threaten, blame, or make light of what your friend is feeling. Let them know that you are there to talk about it.
- 12. Identify their genuine talents and celebrate their successes
- 13. Take care of yourself
- 14. Remind Them That They Matter
- 15. Tell Them You Understand (If You Really Do)
- 16. Remind Them It's OK to Feel This Way
- 17. Assure Them They're Not Weak or Defective
- 18. Emphasize That There's Hope
- 19. Don't take it personally - if they become upset with you and shout at you - because it is always a possibility that even if you have said and done the right things - the other person does not understand or misinterprets
- 20. Be encouraging while honoring their emotions - don't try to fix their problems
- 21. Find practical ways you can help.
- 22. Give suggestions - only if and when your friend reaches out to you and asks for your advice.
- 23. Become informed - by doing - research into what help is available in your area that could be useful for this person
- 24. Set boundaries
- 25. Don't force the issue or put pressure on them
- 26. Don't avoid them
- 27. If things are really serious
- 28. What to do when someone doesn't want help - Be available - Continue to be supportive
- 29. If you're worried that a friend is at risk, tell someone you trust or call a helpline.
- 30. Have someone that you can talk to yourself if you're finding it tough.
- 31. Focus on this person's needs, not your own
- 32. SHOWING SOMEONE THAT you CARE ABOUT THEM CAN MAKE them FEEL LESS ISOLATED and feel connected
- 33. LEARNING HOW TO BE THERE FOR others is definitely CHALLENGING - but when you try with genuine care it not only helps the other person but also creates MEANINGFUL intimate RELATIONSHIP
- 34. Take care of them in the simplest - most human ways
- 35. Mention the things you like about them
- 36. Try using these 9 sentences - when reaching out to others to support-help-cope in their crisis-time
- I.I know at times we all feel lost - so If you ever want an activity partner - for walking-dancing-exercising - I would love to do these together with you
- II.I know you are going through trying times - do you feel that you would be able to open up and express what you feel and what you are going through - I can promise that I will listen to you without offering any solutions - feel free to talk whenever you feel like - I am there for you
- III.Is there anything I can do to make your life little easier for you
- IV.Please tell me - How can I support you - in most meaningful ways that would create positive value-addition to you
- V.I went through very-very few rough days myself - and I know you are going through one right now - so if you feel I can share what I went through and how I came out of it
- VI.I would love to have you spend time with me - whenever you are comfortable - just you and me - just let me know
- VII.I was thinking about joining a social-forum for a meaningful-cause - I would love you to come if you feel like it
- VIII.This must be a very frustrating time for you - I would be happy to listen if you want to get anything off your chest - besides I will also cook lunch for you
- IX.I wish I could understand what you are going through right now - it a bit better - so if you want to talk to me about it - I am all ears for you
18 ways to reach out to people you admire
- 1.Learning from people who you admire is one of the best ways to connect with them - because they are celebrities - you can't expect them to have time for you or to respond to your email from the blue
- 2.You need to get into the sensory-radar - how to do this - go to an event they are present - ask meaningful questions or make genuine appreciative comments - join the discussion and participate and then you may casually introduce yourself
- 3.Later you may follow them on social media - and instead of just liking - ask questions and write comments that shows your mettle too
- 4.If there are any mutual-friend seek their help to get introduced
- 5.But never stalk them OR follow them like a puppy - without adding any value to them - it is irritating
- 6.Do lot of research about this person's likes-dislikes, views, sensitive-issue and what they stand-up for
- 7.Then if the person shows interest in your queries - ask if you meet for coffee - to learn or chat about a topic that this person is keenly interested in
- 8.Patiently wait for the opportunity - keep showing up to support the work of this person you admire - chances are if you do this diligently and in classy-manner - this person may start taking more interest in you
- 9.Have a lot of different conversations with a lot of different people - as in few instances the conversations turns into collaborations and may create long-term relationships - your focus should always be on what you can d to contribute towards their project or vision
- 10. Listen to the people who can be your mentors
- 11. Be yourself - don't be phoney - the celebrities can see a show-off or fake person from miles away
- 12. Be very-very good in whatever that you do - because only class will attract the class
- 13. Be observant to observe to learn and to develop your social-emotional intelligence and empathy
- 14. Carry yourself with class - polish your communication and etiquettes
- 15. Treat everyone with respect - even when you are feeling heady because some celebrity has noticed you
- 16. Polish-hone-perfect and use your skills and talents to good use
- 17. Establish your credibility -Offer value
- 18. Make it clear that you have no expectations - except enjoying their company and learning plus adding value - because High-profile people get bombarded with requests