Why we should never take things personally & how to stop

In this article - you will learn the following

-Disastrous Impact of taking things and people - Personally

-19 reasons why people take things personally - basic human psychology

-70+ steps on how to not to take personally the comments, the statements, the remarks, the expressions and all imagined-wrongs done by others

- 22 simple exercises to stop taking things personally

Why we should never take things personally - how to stop taking things and people's behaviors-words-actions - personally.

Our life gets impacted disastrously when we take things and people personally - a little too much and little too often.

Learning - how not to take things [comments, statements, remarks, expressions and all imagined-wrongs]- personally - is a skill that can help each one of us avoid many hurts, anger, disappointments and hear-breaks, misunderstandings, quarrels, negativities, conflicts, disputes, stress etc.

If you can look at the few incidents where you felt bad - in complete dissociate state and objectively - you would realize that many of these were imagined, unnecessary, perceived and self-manufactured by your false assumptions.

Many of us - get offended by what other people said and keep reflecting on why they said that.

Some people also keep killing themselves internally - through feeling extreme sense of guilt, shame, embarrassment - just because they assume that they have wronged someone - simply based on perceptions.

Most of the time - what people say and do - are not even remotely connected with us.

Still we tend to assume personal responsibility for occurrences that we have little to no control-over OR which have no connection with us.

We magnify our roles in the events happening around us and - believe all these are because of us.

We internalize problems, words and actions of ours as well as others - as something we catastrophic.

As human beings - all of us have our own insecurities, sensitivities and EGOs.

No one can avoid making wrong assumptions and taking things personally every once in a while.

But if you happen to find that - you are getting hurt, irritated, angry etc. - quite frequently - then you must learn how to manage your emotional well-being seriously OR take professional help - to stop taking everything personally.

Because it will eventually lead to anxiety-disorders and serious psychological complications - sooner than later - besides creating hell for people who care for you.

Taking things personally only leads to a negative outlook - which can never contribute to a happier life.

Sometimes - people do make insensitive comments, nasty judgments and nasty put-downs.

We need to learn how handle these people - then and there - ASSERTIVELY and effectively.

But when - you keep reflecting - for hours/days/weeks - after someone said something - then you need to seek professional-help for correcting this issues immediately - especially if you have other emotional problems as well.

Emotionally insecure people with very low self-esteem and people with psychological issues - may even take jokes and innocent-fun of general nature - personally - creating pain for themselves as well as for their loved-ones.

The basic fact is - you can get hurt - for no reason - if you perceive and assume anything negative - without verifying.

Many of us react by overanalyzing and in the process become depressed and anxious over routine interpersonal interactions.

You may come across few - who go bonkers by an innocent conversation because they interpreted it completely in crazy manner - driving others crazy.

19 reasons why people take things personally - basic human psychology

• 1.Most of us feel good to be accepted, respected and liked by our family, friends as well as professionally and socially
• 2.We have expectations of what others should do as well as what they should not do
• 3.BUT - because everyone has their own scale of parameters and measurements - No one will do as we want them to - instead they will do as they want
• 4.None of us can control how anybody behaves, acts and thinks - you may also realize that many times you can't control how you behave, act and say under some situations and with some people
• 5.Comments made by others - could be the projection of their own hatred, their own lacunas, their own dislikes, their own weaknesses - but when we take these personally we end up creating misery for ourselves
• 6.Many times these people are venting their own pent-up feelings and that is not about you at all
• 7.When people make nasty and insensitive comments - at times it is because they are jealous of you - because of their own personal-issues - and sometimes they do this to make you feel bad deliberately
• 8.People also project those qualities those they dislike in themselves - to others
• 9.Emotionally insecure people who usually have low self-esteem - insult, belittle and suppress others - to feel good themselves
• 10. Some people are nasty and bitter because of their own nature and conditioning - they will behave like that - irrespective of how good you are with them
• 11. None of us can change anyone - therefore never try to fix anyone - It is for them to work on themselves to sort-out their issues - in fact if you try to make them change - soon you too will become like them
• 12. Sometimes when they are raging because they had a lousy day - you only happen to be the one on whom they are venting
• 13. Many times - you too could have triggered their negative behavior
• 14. When we take things personally - it also means that - DEEP DOWN We AGREE WITH THE criticism and because we are unable to face the truth about us - we feel hurt and angry
• 15. You also need to realize that some people say stupid things, inappropriate things and insensitive things - because they just don't understand
• 16. Also there are people who won't like you and some may even hate you - openly as well as silently
• 17. Everyone has their own opinions based on their belief system and there's nothing wrong with that - and very-rare few may have belief system where they might think-act-behave-react like you - under some circumstances
• 18. If you're trying to change other people -that means you don't really like them as they really are and are unable to accept them like they are
• 19. Understand that there is no perfect individual and there is no perfect relationship

70+ steps on how to not to take personally the comments, the statements, the remarks, the expressions and all imagined-wrongs done by others

• 1.Instill and reinforce confidence in yourself by doing your best - giving your 100% and ensuring excellence in everything that you do and deliver
• 2.When we have high self-pride, self-respect, self-love - what others do seldom sticks to us
• 3.We also have to develop the right type of thick-skin and learn the art of ignoring people and things - which are harmful to us
• 4.Identify what type of life will make you feel empowered - and then focus only on living a meaningful and fulfilling life
• 5.Do things that uplifts you and make you feel great
• 6.Be an action-person - and busy yourself with positive, meaningful and constructive activities
• 7.Ask yourself why someone's comments, statements or behaviors make you feel bad or make you uncomfortable
• 8.Ask yourself - who are the people whose comments and actions hurt you most - ask yourself why you take these personally
• 9.People with a low level of confidence are more likely to bristle at any negative comment thrown at them because they are quick to believe that it is true.
• 10. Ask yourself - Do you take offense for same thing from everyone or it is different for different people
• 11. Ask yourself -Do you take offense from most of the people even your closest ones
• 12. Please understand - if someone insults you or put you down - you must deal with it immediately in the most effective and assertive manner- decently, respectfully and maintaining your personal-dignity
• 13. If there are people in your life who insult, demean, belittle you regularly - sit down and identify what you can do differently to handle them better - so that you don't feel depressed
• 14. None of us can control what others say or do to us - BUT - all of us have choices to create responses which are powerfully positive, empowering and which helps us grow
• 15. If we respond instead of reacting - our emotional intelligence would also become stronger
• 16. Ask yourself - Why are you reacting and losing your cool - are you too quick to judge or assume - ask few WHYs to get to the root of the issue till you discover what resonates with you
• 17. Challenge and verify that your hurt or whatever you took personally - really needs you to take action OR just plain ignore and forget
• 18. In many cases when you challenge your assumptions - you may find that your assumption was biased
• 19. Delay reacting and learn to not give in to your emotions
• 20. Learn to create a 60 second gap between your strong impulsive urge to react AND taking action
• 21. Practice feeling the emotions especially the strong negative ones - just be aware of them - then question your perceptions - if after deliberations you find you need to take action go ahead
• 22. Never concern yourself about what others think of you
• 23. Understand that criticism - is part of life - we criticize others and others criticize us
• 24. We have to learn and become better by developing our own healthy way of dealing with criticism
• 25. Understand that barring YOUR Blood-enemies - no one in the world is out to attack you in day to day life
• 26. Get rid of all the toxic people - from your life - it is hard BUT living with them is even more torturous
• 27. Respond to provocations - only when you are ready
• 28. Accept and become comfortable with your true self
• 29. Live your life being yourself - then all the people who accept you - as you are - are those who truly care for you
• 30. Practice seeing the world from different lenses - rather through your EGO and self-image - to Empathize with the other people
• 31. Become Aware of What You Can & Cannot Control
• 32. Want to change or fix someone you love - STOP - no one can do this
• 33. Know when situations are beyond your control - just do nothing at those moments
• 34. Learn to train yourself to remain disconnected-emotionally and objectively separate yourself from the situation and other people's behaviors
• 35. Know where to draw the line - it is tricky, complex and confusing and needs lots of practice especially if you are of submissive type - but once you work on it - you will be liberated
• 36. Understand that most the People are Focused on Themselves most of the time - each one of them have their own insecurities and issues which is rattling them
• 37. Stop trying to satisfy and please everyone
• 38. Don't bother about getting validations from others - you are the only person whose opinion matters
• 39. Limit and avoid your interactions with toxic people
• 40. Know your triggers - identify who pushes your triggers buttons to make you lose your cool - work out strategies to deal with these people
• 41. Know your pain-spots - they are those things for which you are highly sensitive - where just the mention of the subject - makes you upset
• 42. Understand that - when we overreact - it usually because of old unhealed wounds - YOU need to make these less sensitive through internal dialogue and creating and reinforcing your resolve of not letting your past spoil your present and future life
• 43. If the same person has taken you for a ride more than twice - then it time to set your house in order by not letting them take advantage of you - anymore
• 44. Nurture and Focus on all the positive relationships - those which makes you feel blissful and blessed - and who do matter most in your life.
• 45. Stop wasting your precious energy, time and efforts to fix toxic people and to make bad relationships better - let them go - it is not your job to make everyone nicer and wiser - stop fussing over jerks
• 46. When something distracts and upsets you - ask yourself should I be focusing on this - and whether it is worth - because if you are empathic and sensitive - in a seemingly insensitive world you can the feelings of getting hurt almost all the time
• 47. Stop suffering - just because you don't have better coping strategies right now - but you need to start learning NOW so as to make you future wonderful
• 48. Face this fact that - no body is concerned about you - They aren't even thinking of you
• 49. Create and set clear standards based on values AND follow them
• 50. Hold and make yourself accountable - for continuing improvement and learning
• 51. Face your fears - slowly put yourself in the arenas that scares you - to keep growing
• 52. Do what you makes you uncomfortable - with more and more frequency
• 53. Always clarify by asking questions to others - to understand their perspective
• 54. If something makes you feel bad - ask yourself why it is making you so disturbed and mad - Why you think YOU are BEING TREATED UNFAIRLY and unjustly
• 55. If somebody tries to exclude you from a group - find other people and groups where you are accepted
• 56. Find people where mutual respect exists
• 57. 22 simple exercises to stop taking things personally
• I.Ensure that you follow your values
• II.Don't say or do something that violates our values and creates unwarranted criticism from others
• III.Ignore and stay away from evil people
• IV.Respect other people - Make sure you aren't a hater
• V.Remember that even the kindest people can be selfish at times - Everyone has their triggers - and when they are pressed intentionally or unintentionally - they may behave irrationally
• VI.Understand that no one can control or change anybody else's reactions.
• VII.It's okay to make mistakes - and if that mistake affect others - then we need to be concerned about it - by apologizing and making it up
• VIII.Don't go too hard on yourself worrying about what other people think - after you have apologized and corrected your mistake
• IX.Stop generalizing a mistake as a flaw in your character
• X.Work on creating sustainable self-pride - A healthy sense of pride is a powerful defense against unjust criticism and taking things personally.
• XI.Learn and practice assertiveness - all the time and with everyone
• XII.Pay attention to your wants, needs and rights - claim your basic rights all the time
• XIII.Prioritize self-care more than taking care of others
• XIV.Stop spending time with the wrong people - especially those who influence you negatively
• XV.Stop judging others
• XVI.Stop jumping to Conclusions
• XVII.Be yourself
• XVIII.Make Mistakes when you stretch yourself while working towards your goals
• XIX.Set healthy personal boundaries and enforce them
• XX.Be nice and kind to everyone - but - don't expect them to fall at your feet and feel obligated to you for life - because you are nice to them
• XXI.When something upsets you or makes you feel uncomfortable - take a different view or seek someone else's perspective to clarify whether the situation call for the reaction you had or did you lost your cool unnecessarily
• XXII.Identify what is negotiable for you and then learning how to hold your space and keep your power

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