<p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Creating the most wonderful relationship with yourself</b></p><p>Quality of relationship with self and quality of life - the importance of having a healthy relationship with yourself</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">In this article we will learn</b></p><p>-<b data-redactor-tag="b">15 Damaging effects of lack of self-love and of ensuing low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence - on us</b></p><p>-<b data-redactor-tag="b">9 areas where our having great relationship with ourselves is a must - for fulfilling outcomes in these areas</b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">-6 Factors which impacts and affect our relationship with self and on our self-esteem, self-worth, self-acceptance, self-proud etc.</b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">-8 Benefits of having</b> <b data-redactor-tag="b">Healthy self-love</b></p><p>-<b data-redactor-tag="b">70+ tips on how to build wonderful intimate relationship with your own-self - few rituals to create and few non-negotiable-commandment to follow</b></p><p>- <b data-redactor-tag="b">16 steps to celebrate being yourself - everyday</b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">- 12 Confidence boosting methods</b></p><p><span>In this today's world of </span><b data-redactor-tag="b">AFTER-CORONA[AC]</b><span> - when we are still living in the emotional, physical, mental and social mind-frame of </span><b data-redactor-tag="b">BEFORE-CORONA[BC]</b><span>- </span><b data-redactor-tag="b">the need to have the very best relationship with self-have become absolutely mandatory for each one of us</b><span>.</span><br></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">This has become even more critical - for the people affected by</b> job-loss, strained-relationships, erosion of savings and loss of business etc.<b data-redactor-tag="b"> - in this VUCA</b> [volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous] environment.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">9 areas where our having great relationship with ourselves is a must - for fulfilling quality of life in these areas</b></p><ul><li>1.Our quality and closeness of our relationship with our most near and dear ones</li> <li>2.Our quality of success</li> <li>3.Our quality and quantity of happiness</li> <li>4.Our quality and quantity peacefulness and calmness</li> <li>5.Our having less baggage</li> <li>6.Our living a fulfilled-life</li> <li>7.Our living our life to the fullest</li> <li>8.Our appreciating and recognizing the blessings that we have</li> <li>9.Our realizing all the opportunities we come across through overcoming major obstacles</li></ul><p><br></p><p>The <b data-redactor-tag="b">relationship we have with ourselves - sets the tone for every important relationship that</b> we have with others as well as our successes, our growth and our happiness.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">6 Factors which impacts and affect our relationship with self and on our self-esteem, self-worth, self-acceptance, self-proud etc.</b></p><ul><li>1.Your thoughts and perceptions</li> <li>2.How other people react to you</li> <li>3.Your experiences and its interpretations by our subconscious - at our home, at the school, in our work place and through our social interactions</li> <li>4.The authority figures who influenced you and had power over you - during our growing up years</li> <li>5.Significant emotional events - like parental breakup, death of loved one and abuse plus violence during growing up years</li> <li>6.Illness, disability or injury</li></ul><p><br></p><p>Even in <b data-redactor-tag="b">the healthiest relationship – our self-image is somewhat dependent on our partner</b>.</p><p>But <b data-redactor-tag="b">in unhealthy relationships where our partner is not supportive</b> - our insecurities, perceived-failures and flaws - harms us in a catastrophic manner.</p><p>If you had relationships which generally gave you strong positive feedbacks - you would have healthier self-esteem and see yourself as worthwhile and as a consequence will have wonderful relationship with self. </p><p>On the other hand - if you received feedback which was negative and were often criticized, insulted or belittled by others - you're more likely to struggle with poor self-esteem - and you will see yourself as weak person.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Healthy self-love is totally non-negotiable</b>.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">8 Benefits of having</b> <b data-redactor-tag="b">Healthy self-love</b></p><ul><li>1.You will be assertive in expressing your needs and opinions</li> <li>2.You would be able to claim your right</li> <li>3.You will have confidence in your ability to make decisions</li> <li>4.You would generally form secure and intimate relationships and are less likely to stay in unhealthy relationships</li> <li>5.You would have realistic in your expectations </li> <li>6.You will not be overcritical of yourself and others</li> <li>7.You will have deeper inner resilient and will deal with stress, challenges and setbacks more effectively</li> <li>8.You will also bounce back faster</li></ul><p><b data-redactor-tag="b"><br></b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">15 Damaging effects of lack of self-love and of ensuing low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence - on us </b></p><p><span>1.You may avoid social interactions and hide yourself away from the people who are either strangers or whom you don't know well<br></span><span>2.You will try to avoid failures and making mistakes - by no taking risks<br></span><span>3.You will seldom try new things and experiment for fear of looking foolish<br></span><span>4.You would avoid challenging situations and difficult people<br></span><span>5.You will operate from your safe comfort zone - in the short term, avoiding challenging and difficult situations and people might make you feel safe - but in long-term it is most harmful as it reinforces your underlying anxieties, doubts and fears<br></span><span>6.You may hate yourself<br></span><span>7.You will become obsessed with being perfect - Perfectionism being one of the more destructive aspects of low self-esteem<br></span><span>8.You will hate your body, your looks, your speech - almost everything about yourself<br></span><span>9.You will constantly compare yourself to others - comparison joy-thief<br></span><span>10. You will your ability - and a deep-rooted sense of worthlessness would make you believe that you are not as valuable as others<br></span><span>11. You will become oversensitive - and take everything personally especially those which does not have this meaning at all<br></span><span>12. You will operate out of fear, doubt and anxiety<br></span><span>13. You will often feel angry - without any reasons<br></span><span>14. You will become a people pleaser<br></span><span>15. You will start living a life trying to satisfy others and gain their approval and validation</span><b><br></b><b data-redactor-tag="b"><br></b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Self-love makes us aware of our</b><span> choices, our wants, our desires, our needs, our behaviors, our reactions and our impulses.<br></span><span><br></span></p><p><span>Our </span><b data-redactor-tag="b">self-love</b><span> </span><b data-redactor-tag="b">empowers us to know, understand and care for ourselves more effectively</b><span>.<br></span><b data-redactor-tag="b"><br></b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">The more we understand and care for ourselves the more meaningful and deeper connections we will have in our relationships with others</b><span>.<br></span><b data-redactor-tag="b"><br></b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">But at times we can be our own worst enemy - our own worst critics</b><span> - when we judge ourselves negatively and undeservedly.<br></span><b data-redactor-tag="b"><br></b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">When we suffer trauma through abuse, especially abuse that continues in one form or another then our brain gets conditioned</b><span> to expect things to go wrong – all the time.<br></span><span><br></span></p><p><span>Which </span><b data-redactor-tag="b">makes us feel as if things are out of our control even now</b><span> -just as they were </span><b data-redactor-tag="b">when the original trauma took place</b><span> and as a result there-of we remain in a permanently traumatized state.<br></span><b data-redactor-tag="b"><br></b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Because of this we lose connect with ourselves and we feel totally powerless and helpless</b><span> – later it gets part of our nature to play victim and use tantrums to keep ourselves in that pitying emotional state.<br></span><b data-redactor-tag="b"><br></b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Many times, people develop psychological dis-orders in such a way that to regain their feeling of control</b><span> - they resort to </span><b data-redactor-tag="b">traumatizing others through passive-aggression and many other forms of subtle emotional-abuse.<br></b><span><br></span></p><p><span>Then </span><b data-redactor-tag="b">these people kind of become unable to feel self-love because of the continuous internal self-criticism, negative-self-talk, shame, guilt, regret</b><b data-redactor-tag="b"> </b><span>etc. – they fight to remain in this familiar and comfortable.<br></span><span><br></span></p><p><span>Many of </span><b data-redactor-tag="b">this type of people – when they get into a relationship where their partner is very supportive and caring – they make constant efforts to kill and kick that person out of their life</b><span> [many times this could be because of subconscious wiring getting short-circuited].<br></span><b data-redactor-tag="b"><br></b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">We lose track of who we really are – and start feeling ashamed of our core-self - which is the biggest lie.<br></b><b data-redactor-tag="b"><br></b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">When our self-love is down at bottommost – and we are comfortable with abusing ourselves – then we also become adept in abusing others</b><span> especially the ones who love us deeply and care for us sincerely.<br></span><b data-redactor-tag="b"><br></b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Self-love plays a huge role in our relationships with others. Whether it be romantic relationships, or friendships - the way we treat ourselves will always be reflected in the quality of our relationships.<br></b><b data-redactor-tag="b"><br></b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">You can't depend on other people to make you feel loved - every relationship has to be a partnership</b><span>.<br></span><b data-redactor-tag="b">When we are happy and content on the inside no matter what is taking place in our external world</b><span> - we bring our best selves to our relationships with others.<br></span><span><br></span></p><p><span>Because - </span><b data-redactor-tag="b">we attract people at the same vibrational level at which we love ourselves</b><span>, if we feel inadequate, incomplete, broken or emotionally-immature we will end up attracting people who too have similar or worse issues.<br></span><span><br></span></p><p><span>On the other hand - if </span><b data-redactor-tag="b">you have overflowing positive-vibes – you will be able to attract someone who is also whole</b><span> – otherwise you may attract but may not be able to retain or kill that relationship and person emotionally at least.<br></span><b data-redactor-tag="b"><br></b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Self-love is the most difficult love to create and sustain - if you are trying to build it up from low self-worth state.<br></b><b data-redactor-tag="b"><br></b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Throughout this article - whenever I have used the word Self-Love - it is healthy self-pride, healthy self-love AND not narcissistic type of self-love<br></b><b data-redactor-tag="b"><br></b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">70+ tips on how to build wonderful intimate relationship with your own-self - </b><b data-redactor-tag="b">Create few rituals and follow them as non-negotiable-commandment<br></b><span>1.Wake-up little early<br></span><span>2.Sit in the nature<br></span><span>3.Relax with tea, coffee, lemon-honey-water – whatever is your pleasure<br></span><span>4.Think about one good thing that you have identified in yourself<br></span><span>5.Mediate visualizing your future<br></span><span>6.Do exercise, yoga, deep-breathing, stretching<br></span><span>7.Be kind- be gentle- be compassionate to yourself<br></span><b data-redactor-tag="b">8.</b><b data-redactor-tag="b">16 steps to celebrate being yourself - everyday<br></b><span>I.How many ways you can discover your talents and use them to add value<br></span><span>II.How can you be your own best friend<br></span><span>III.Identify -how will you treat yourself today<br></span><span>IV.Identify which of people in your circle<br></span><span>V.Which person you will interact with<br></span><span>VI.Who makes you feel come-alive<br></span><span>VII.Who makes you feel great about yourself<br></span><span>VIII.Who you will connect with<br></span><span>IX.Which toxic people you will get rid of - from your life<br></span><span>X.Who will you forgive today<br></span><span>XI.How will you treat and honor your body with healthy foods today and in this week<br></span><span>XII.Identifying why you are a wonderful person - list as many qualities and reasons that you can come up with plus keep adding<br></span><span>XIII.Identify at least one new aspect about yourself that increases your respect about yourself and makes you feel worthy<br></span><span>XIV.Identify and set intention, tone and goal of – how you like to feel about yourself<br></span><span>XV.What type of people you would love to have in your life<br></span><span>XVI.What type of life you want to lead<br></span><span>9.Adopt an attitude of curiosity and acceptance<br></span><span>10. Create a personal crisis plan- sometimes life deals us a really bad hand, or we make a decision which we regret and hate ourselves for<br></span><span>11. Involve and engage yourself in meaningful and worthy projects, tasks and activities<br></span><span>12. Work is important and not everyone have a job they love -but it is important to find ways to make it meaningful<br></span><span>13. Likewise - our life outside of our work, career and professional areas like hobbies, recreation, relationships and volunteer activities - have to be meaningful and confidence boosting.<br></span><span>14. Infuse curiosity in your own mind to make it a source of great fascination and entertainment.<br></span><span>15. Create good habits -start your day in such a way that you increase the likelihood of having a day which supports your self-relationship goals<br></span><span>16. No one can make you happy the way you can make yourself happy<br></span><span>17. You also need to open-up your communications with others to and share how you want to be treated and treat them likewise<br></span><b data-redactor-tag="b">18. </b><b data-redactor-tag="b">12 Confidence boosting methods<br></b><span>I.Have fun<br></span><span>II.Do something you're good at<br></span><span>III.Do something that makes you feel good doing<br></span><span>IV.Push yourself in the areas that you feel limits you - take actions in the areas that create fear in you after safeguarding yourself<br></span><span>V.Challenge yourself to go beyond your current abilities<br></span><span>VI.Do things that you are scared-of<br></span><span>VII.Give back more than you receive to make you feel wonderful<br></span><span>VIII.Value yourself<br></span><span>IX.Stop blaming others as well as yourself<br></span><span>X.Stop giving or making excuse<br></span><span>XI.Stop playing victim<br></span><span>XII.Start facing the truth and reality and facts<br></span><b data-redactor-tag="b">19. </b><b data-redactor-tag="b">Take responsibility for<br></b><span>I.Resolving conflict<br></span><span>II.Nurturing relationship<br></span><span>III.Building the bridges again<br></span><span>IV.For living a life the way you want to live life<br></span><span>V.All your decisions, actions and consequences<br></span><span>20. Try to understand others - try to give benefit of doubt – till you have clarified and verified<br></span><span>21. Associate positive meanings with people if you love them - meanings have energy<br></span><span>22. Set healthy boundaries with everyone around you<br></span><span>23. Practice assertiveness<br></span><span>24. Practice saying no to other's demands and pressures<br></span><span>25. Allow yourself to fail<br></span><span>26. Help other - volunteer<br></span><span>27. Experiment - do something new - fail with knowledge that as you are trying newer ways - even if you don't succeed - you will learn something new<br></span><span>28. Avoid social-media completely time to time<br></span><span>29. Stop comparing yourself with others around you - especially based on their social-media postings<br></span><span>30. Understand that caring for yourself is not self-indulgence - it is self-preservation<br></span><span>31. Express and talk about your feelings openly<br></span><span>32. Become vulnerable - talking about your feelings can help you stay in good mental health and deal with times when you feel troubled<br></span><span>33. Keep active - Exercise<br></span><span>34. Eat well, drink sensibly, sleep-well<br></span><span>35. Keep in touch socially with people who uplift you<br></span><span>36. Ask for help without shame<br></span><span>37. Take break regularly – go to the mountains, sea-side<br></span><span>38. Identify all your weaknesses, flaws, regrets, mistakes-made, shameful-incidences etc. Plus all your positives and good qualities and strengths – then accept who you are – totally and unconditionally<br></span><span>39. Understand that - mental wellbeing does not mean being happy all the time - and it also does not mean that you won't experience negative or painful emotions, such as grief, loss or failure - which are a part of normal life<br></span><span>40. Face your fears – identify what makes you afraid, anxious, scared - then go ahead and do it<br></span><span>41. Know when to seek and call for help<br></span><span>42. Learn how you can help yourself in positive manner<br></span><b data-redactor-tag="b">43. </b><b data-redactor-tag="b">Practice mindfulness – by practicing these 6 things everyday<br></b><span>I.Mindful breathing<br></span><span>II.Mindful scanning and feeling good about your body and emotions<br></span><span>III.Mindful walking<br></span><span>IV.Mindful eating<br></span><span>V.Mindful listening<br></span><span>VI.Mindful observing<br></span><span>44. Practice being grateful for your body<br></span><span>45. Let go of your inner perfectionist<br></span><span>46. Let go of judging others as well as yourself</span></p><p><a href="#Qualityofrelationshipwithself, #qualityoflife, #Qualityofyourrelationships, #healthyrelationships, #covid19unprecedentedcrisis, #massivejobloss, #strainedrelationships, #erosionofsavings, #lossoffuturekitty, #lossofbusiness, #AFTERCORONA, #VUCA, #BOHICA, #FUBAR, #FUBU, #SNAFU, #SUSFU, #TARFU, #Oursuccesshappinesspeacefulness, #encashingallopportunities, #meaningfulanddeeperconnections, #weareourownworstcritic, #judgeourselvesnegatively,#suffertraumathroughabuse, #thingsareoutofourcontrol,#permanentlytraumatizedstate, #feeltotallypowerlesshelpless, #playvictim, #throwtantrums, #pityingemotionalstate, #psychologicaldisorders , #traumatizingothers, #passiveaggression, #subtleemotionalabuse, #negativeselftalk, #feelingashamedofourcoreself, #Selflovemostdifficulttocreate, #happyandcontent, #attractpeopleatsamevibrationallevel, #emotionallyimmature, #overflowingpositivevibes, #attractsomeonewhoiswhole, #killthatrelationship, #neverdatewomenwithtraumaticabusiverelationship, #nevermarrywomenwithtraumaticabusiverelationship, #experiencedcrueltyviolencesuppression, #emotionalmentalphysicalhorrors, #abusivepast, #emotionallyshockingrelationship, #HURTTHEIRPARTNERSinAGONIZINGWAYS, #therapyandcounseling, #unhealthyemotionalstate, #emotionallyunavailable, #emotionalinsecurities, #VICTIMtrilogy, #victimpersecutorrescuer, #imbalancedbehaviors, #makesthemfeelunworthy, #losetheirabilitytolove, #respectacceptthemselves, #meaningfulrelationshipswithothers, #narcisticlove, #BlesstoCurse, #investedheavilyemotionally, #nurturingthroughpositiveinducements, #numbtofeelpleasureaandpain , #comfortablelivingwithpain, #beenhurtbadlyandkepthurting, #scaredofintimacy, #intensityofintimacy, #sexuallyabusedandexploited, #lacksselflove, #lackstrustinherself, #lacksrespectforherself, #doesnotvaluethemselves, #goodnessofhumanbeings" title="" class="">#Qualityofrelationshipwithself, #qualityoflife, #Qualityofyourrelationships, #healthyrelationships, #covid19unprecedentedcrisis, #massivejobloss, #strainedrelationships, #erosionofsavings, #lossoffuturekitty, #lossofbusiness, #AFTERCORONA, #VUCA, #BOHICA, #FUBAR, #FUBU, #SNAFU, #SUSFU, #TARFU, #Oursuccesshappinesspeacefulness, #encashingallopportunities, #meaningfulanddeeperconnections, #weareourownworstcritic, #judgeourselvesnegatively,#suffertraumathroughabuse, #thingsareoutofourcontrol,#permanentlytraumatizedstate, #feeltotallypowerlesshelpless, #playvictim, #throwtantrums, #pityingemotionalstate, #psychologicaldisorders , #traumatizingothers, #passiveaggression, #subtleemotionalabuse, #negativeselftalk, #feelingashamedofourcoreself, #Selflovemostdifficulttocreate, #happyandcontent, #attractpeopleatsamevibrationallevel, #emotionallyimmature, #overflowingpositivevibes, #attractsomeonewhoiswhole, #killthatrelationship, #neverdatewomenwithtraumaticabusiverelationship, #nevermarrywomenwithtraumaticabusiverelationship, #experiencedcrueltyviolencesuppression, #emotionalmentalphysicalhorrors, #abusivepast, #emotionallyshockingrelationship, #HURTTHEIRPARTNERSinAGONIZINGWAYS, #therapyandcounseling, #unhealthyemotionalstate, #emotionallyunavailable, #emotionalinsecurities, #VICTIMtrilogy, #victimpersecutorrescuer, #imbalancedbehaviors, #makesthemfeelunworthy, #losetheirabilitytolove, #respectacceptthemselves, #meaningfulrelationshipswithothers, #narcisticlove, #BlesstoCurse, #investedheavilyemotionally, #nurturingthroughpositiveinducements, #numbtofeelpleasureaandpain , #comfortablelivingwithpain, #beenhurtbadlyandkepthurting, #scaredofintimacy, #intensityofintimacy, #sexuallyabusedandexploited, #lacksselflove, #lackstrustinherself, #lacksrespectforherself, #doesnotvaluethemselves, #goodnessofhumanbeings</a></p>