How to stop saying things you regret later 86 Tips

In this article you will learn the following

-86 Tips How to stop saying things you regret later

When you praise someone people definitely feel good yet very soon it is forgotten.

What people remember longest is - how you make them feel about themselves - when they are around you.

Most people never forget - instances someone make them feel insulted, feel awful about themselves, feel ashamed, feel small and feel guilty.

Even when you try to mend it later with magnanimous actions and gestures - the scars and memories of scars remains forever buried.

Hurtful and pain-causing words will never get forgotten - although few people may forgive if they are mature enough for their own inner-peace.

That is why all of us have to be careful with words that we might regret later.

We hurt the people we love and care for most through our words, gestures, actions, inactions, behaviors and ignorance.

Few people can also interpret innocent remarks and words negatively - but it is their lacunae.

Throughout my entire life I have spoken words - which I regretted later - as they have caused immense pain to the people I really care for deeply and love them most in the world.

Time to time - I still lose my self-control and say those things that I never meant in the heat of the moment.

Once you have spoken these words they become immortal in the minds of the listener.

Many time some of you would have noticed that - while you are about to speak these hurtful words - you get the warning siren ringing in your head - some of you - in a few instances - might stop yourself from uttering these regrettable words and in most you might just you're your complete self-control.

When we are arguing and losing or feeling hurt or feeling cheated or feeling indignant with injustice - most of us will have the initial reaction to lash-out and mete out a proper retort - this is the danger zone.

Unless you have learned to wait for some time before speaking or reacting impulsively - those who are like me will face negative consequences.

Then there are few medical and psychological conditions - which can make us very angry to react in a way which is self-harming and self-destructive in long as well as short terms.

86 Tips How to stop saying things you regret later

[Unless it is self-executable - all the following tips - have 900+ detailed do-it-yourself articles in by two websites and 3000+ answers in my Quora page]

• 1.If in the argument - learn to create humor to turn awkward, difficult and challenging arguments and situations - into an emotionally manageable one but please don't go overboard with humor lest it creates another fine mess - read my article on how to create humor
• 2.Some people say - that counting 10-20-30 - before responding works - I could never remember this in the heat of the moment but if it works for you - go ahead
• 3.Instead of replying, responding or reacting - take time out by moving out of that situation
• 4.If you must respond within a short time - take a vigorous walk or come back after you have done some kind of active exercise
• 5.Walk out - without responding or reacting - to avoid making it worse - don't bother about - if others think you don't have spine
• 6.Learn the art of maintaining silence even through you want to give a fitting reply - while in your brain you are trying out self-calming exercise with a poker face
• 7.Never try to break the silence - it is not necessary to always talk - avoid talking just for the sake of talking
• 8.Ensure that you share information - in a tense situation - judiciously only with appropriate audience - to avoid up regretting sharing information with irrelevant people or sharing too much for your won good
• 9.Learn to face rejection and criticism - effectively - read my blogs on these
• 10.Be aware when you are blabbering, shooting your mouth-off or ranting - even though you might be raring to go and it might feel liberating to complain about something or someone whom you don't like - it is completely useless
• 11.Stop complaining - instead work towards solutions
• 12.Find at least something in the behaviors of others - which makes you respect them
• 13.Make respecting everyone without bias - your strong core value
• 14.Understand that even if you are right - there could be possibilities [that you are not aware of] which makes others right too
• 15.Even if you are most experience - instead of being arrogant about it - learn to be humble
• 16.Learn to avoid argument - which to prove who is right
• 17.Instead learn to have discussions with open mind - which is about finding out what is right
• 18.Learn to manage your ego - which comes from your own insecurities
• 19.Learn to work on your insecurities
• 20.Learn to manage your irritations, frustration and anger - effectively - read my blogs on these
• 21.Train yourself to change your breathing pattern - as and when you want - learn and practice the breathing that you have when you are calm
• 22.Introspect and reflect - what makes you feel like hurting others or to make feel low and bad - work on your insecurities
• 23.Identify your triggers that makes you lose your self-control - then work on them so that they stop putting you in bad situations and misery
• 24.Learn to use i statements - instead of you statements - whenever you are trying to explain why you are feeling hurt or angry
• 25.Learn to apologies when you realize you have made mistake
• 26.Apologize appropriately to cool the tempers
• 27.Don't fight or feel bad about your negative emotions - identify the cause and work on them - you can't control emotions but you must learn to manage your reaction and response to your explosive emotions constructively
• 28.Identify your shame, guilt and regrets that triggers bouts of losing your self-control and work on them
• 29.Learn to identify what message your emotions are giving you with curiosity
• 30.Learn to show empathy during a difficult conversation
• 31.When faced with very difficult situation or difficult person - learn, practice and master the art of asking questions that not only clarify but also to divert and distract till both parties cool-down
• 32.Learn to take ownership for your behavior and its consequences
• 33.With practice you would be able to catch yourself before you get too angry
• 34.Learn to practice healthy and meaningful communication
• 35.Learn to resolve conflict in healthy manner through win-win solutions
• 36.Don't ignore problems, misunderstandings and other issues - schedule a time to sit and discuss with open mind - when in a dispute
• 37.Get help from wise people in your network if your strategies don't work
• 38.Nurture and create positive connections and relationships with most important people in your life
• 39.Learn and improve the quality of your verbal interactions with others - in case - you talk too much or you tend to monopolize all conversations or it is only about you you and you or you interrupt others frequently or you make honest comments tactlessly without thinking through their impact on others
• 40.Learn to seek feedback and take feedback in healthy manner
• 41.Become a great listener
• 42.Suppress your urge of impressing others with talking and wanting to jump into every conversation
• 43.Know when to speak and especially when not to speak - for better impact
• 44.Learn to control your impulsivity
• 45.Stop talking about yourselves - instead learn to understand others
• 46.Take some situations that happen often and practice what would say if that happens - create a few reminders around wherever you are
• 47.Learn to speak slowly and clearly - for maximum impact
• 48.Learn to be polite and respectful - even if others are not
• 49.Learn to be assertive - to say no to things which are against your values
• 50.Learn how not to be mean to stop saying mean things
• 51.Work on your social anxiety
• 52.Take expert medical help - if you are depressed, overly angry or have disorders which makes you lose self-control easily
• 53.Work on your low self-esteem, low self-confidence, low self-pride and social and emotional insecurities
• 54.Learn to manage your stress effectively
• 55.Learn the etiquette and manners and practice it everywhere
• 56.Ask others to explain when their ideas differ from you - ask for outside opinion - then pay attention to understand
• 57.Learn to deal with others when they are trying to belittle you, or trying to insult you or abusing you
• 58.Also learn to deal with toxic, mean, difficult and arrogant
• 59.Learn to self-censor - by internally designing what you are going to say
• 60.Don't say stupid things to avoid silence
• 61.Learn to become comfortable with silence
• 62.Always keep a question in reserve
• 63.Learn to recognize and also find ways to avoid overthinking and overanalyzing - especially if you are a compulsive social over-thinker
• 64.If you must break the silence ask a unthreatening question that makes others speak
• 65.If you have said something awkward or embarrassing - learn to forgive yourself instead of allowing it to make you miserable for long time after it has happened
• 66.Before jumping into any conversation - spend a little bit of time just listening to the conversation and understanding various dynamics
• 67.In case it is important to join the conversation and you don't know much about the topic - learn to ask a meaningful question - ignorance is not bad - learn is good
• 68.Learn to observe and know what to say when someone's having a hard time - show empathy, without trying to fix problems
• 69.Practice avoiding talking when you are angry -understand that you don't always have to be the winner
• 70.Learn the art of redirecting the conversation towards something meaningful - when it reaches a logjam
• 71.Learn to avoid having discussions on the sensitive topics
• 72.Avoid discussions - on - politics, religion and personalities - as a thumb rule
• 73.When angry never get intoxicated
• 74.Learn to express yourself when necessary - without accusing and criticizing others
• 75.Avoid using hostile remarks - never go for the urge for character assassinations
• 76.Never yell or use threat nor challenge others to confront you - you may step off the line
• 77.Avoid preaching and patronizing
• 78.Recognize and avoid making generalizations like "you always" or "you never" statements
• 79.Reframe your argument to make people more open to listen- acknowledge your intentions in the conversation
• 80.Treat others how you want to be treated
• 81.Use facts not emotional statements - resist the urge to get defensive
• 82.Stop the urge to blame others
• 83.Use calming words to convey your feelings and give concrete examples of what made you feel that way and why -keep your examples relevant to the conversation
• 84.Deal with issues as they come up -don't put off talking about something that hurt your
• 85.Be aware of your posture and body language, facial expressions
• 86.Choose your battles - negotiate win-win - share positive feelings

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